{"id":106,"date":"2024-03-31T00:01:00","date_gmt":"2024-03-31T00:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/?p=106"},"modified":"2024-04-01T01:50:37","modified_gmt":"2024-04-01T01:50:37","slug":"trans-day-of-visibility-tdov","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/2024\/03\/31\/trans-day-of-visibility-tdov\/","title":{"rendered":"Trans Day of Visibility #TDoV"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A couple? few? years ago, I started acknowledging something within myself. I told myself — and friends — that if I were growing up today, \"I would totally be nonbinary.\" I'd expound on my gratitude to the youth who treated the gender binary with the silliness it deserved. I shared my \"if I were growing up today\" theory with several friends. I don't know if they were being polite, frightened, or were as clueless as I was. Then some time in late 2022 or early 2023, it occurred to me, \"Hey, if I would've been nonbinary if I were growing up now, that probably means that… that… wait a minute… that means I'm probably… I am<\/strong> nonbinary now.\" <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn't tell people my realization for a while because \"I wanted to be sure\" (NOTE: I was sure.) First I told the spouse. He reacted well. I wonder if it's because he's a middle school teacher and his students had already gotten him used to the concept? (see above: gratitude to the youth). Then he shared it to a group of online friends, which freaked me the fuck out. He apologized for the complete inappropriateness of outing me, then a part of me was grateful because it wasn't a secret that I could let die with him. Others knew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My next toe in the nonbinary water came with changing my pronouns on Zoom from she\/her to she\/they. There's this guy that makes a big stink about pronouns and I dreaded hearing flack from him. I could and would defend others, but defending myself? That was new territory. Luckily, I rarely ran into this guy online anymore. I'd see him in person, but IRL he couldn't see my pronouns. Out in the 3D, I could hide from him, from his derision. I could \"pass.\" I was hiding behind my privilege.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soon, I admitted to a friend that I held on to \"she\" because of fear, because I didn't want to correct people. She\/they meant that if they used \"she\" I didn't have to say anything. The next day, I change my Zoom pronouns to they\/them. The people I'd see on Zoom knew a little more (if they even noticed.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I considered changing my first name because my given name feels very female. But doing this would require regular outing of myself. Heaven forfend that I make people uncomfortable <\/em>by learning my proper name. Jeez. When I write it out, I hear only my fear. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of being judged, afraid that the kids on the playground will make fun of me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Young<\/a>
For more of my gender ramblings, see what I wrote<\/a> in 2020. I just didn't quite comprehend what it really meant to me.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A couple? few? years ago, I started acknowledging something within myself. I told myself — and friends — that if I were growing up today, \"I would totally be nonbinary.\" I'd expound on my gratitude to the youth who treated the gender binary with the silliness it deserved. I shared my \"if I were growing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,23,32,34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-enby","category-gender","category-nonbinary","category-trans"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=106"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wiseacreswest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}